Friday, May 2, 2014

Simple Ethics Guide, by an Introvert

Ah, real life, the place where everything goes on, and nothing may escape from it (if not for long). A world where your fantasies might get laughed at and your fetishes might deliver you to jail. The reality in which resides the harsh truths that will haunt you for eternity, but will still gives you some experience points like in any RPG you know. But I'm not going to talk about those things... yet.

Not having a light pillar shooting up through your head kinda kills the excitement anyway

What I'm going to discuss are the simple words that would either pave your way to 'ethical human being', or 'that ignorant douchebag'. Let's consider these three rare words for a bit: "Please", "thank you", and "sorry".

"Please", as we all know, is a word used for polite requests or questions.

So why should we use it?
It's to turn your requests from 'giving order' into 'asking a favor'; which might sound the same, but with a very different meaning to the receiver. There are other variants for the usage of this word, such as "could you do me a favor", or "would you kindly", but they all hold the same meaning. By using "please", the person you asked would feel like they're doing you a favor instead of feeling like being bossed around.

Depends on the usage, however

Next is "thank you", which is a word used to express our gratitude towards someone. Usually said when that someone did something for us, be it giving an item, a favor, or simply an act of kindness.

So why should we use it?
Imagine that you're holding a door open for someone else behind you, and they just walk past without even looking at you (or worse giving that "you're a weirdo" look). Don't you feel like pulling them back and smack their head to that very door? No? Well, you're stilll normal then, good for you.

But my point is, saying "thank you", or "thanks", or a simple smile to the person who went out of their way and did something for you, no matter how small, would have a great impact on both you and that person. By expressing your gratitude, that person would feel appreciated and will live their life with better confidence, and you yourself would feel more at ease and unconsiously improve your physical and emotional health.

"This happens after 2 billion worth of 'thank you's, thank you!"

Finally we have "sorry", the word we mostly use to express our apology. It can also be used to show the feeling of regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.

So why should we use it?
Well if you're the kind of person who would just walk away as if nothing happened when you accidentaly bump someone's shoulder, or stepped on someone's feet, or running over someone's baby, you need some therapy (especially for the last part). "But I didn't even see them", you may argue, "why should I be held responsible for something I had no idea about? It might even be their fault for not paying attention".

Well, it's a fine argument, but it would only make the situation worse. The fact that you didn't see them could be interpreted that they don't mean much to you in the first place and you have every right in the world to ignore them, and you refusing to accept the responsibility and even accusing the other party guilty would only show that you position yourself higher than them, and being arrogant won't resolve anything.

You don't apologize only because you're in the wrong, you do that to restore - or even improve - the relationship you have with that person after that incident happened. When you apologize to someone, there will be that guilty feeling on the one who received the apology should they refuse to forgive you (unless you really did ran over their baby), so there's really nothing to lose. There are also a lot of other benefits in apologizing, but mostly it's to show that you prefer being a respectable human being than keeping your ego. It's true that there are things that can't be easily forgiven, but it's a lot better for you to try apologizing instead of keeping that pride and hope the matter will resolve on its own, even though it might be the hardest thing to say.

"Sorry for blowing up your planet, buddy"

Words are powerful weapon when they are spoken, but they also prove to have considerable effect when not spoken at all. Hopefully it's not that difficult to make a habit of saying these words when the time comes for you to actually say them. Just remember the basics of conversation technique (which might be difficult for us introverts), and remember to treat people as fellow human beings, because that's also how you want to be treated like, right?

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