Saturday, December 27, 2014

How to Spot a Game That You Should Not Play

Now that I'm back in high spirits again. Let's continue our journey through my rambling and potentially misleading opinions that are (personally) still a lot better than the recent news media activities. Today I want to talk about video games, but not in why would people play one. Most importantly, why people wouldn't want to instead. A lot of game makers got too focused on the things that they should be doing for the game, but forgetting about the things that they should avoid in the process.

Let's start with the basics, shall we. First, let's discuss the simple question: what is a "video game"? I'm going to go ahead and politely steal from wikipedia because I don't have the talent on describing things: A video game is an electronic game that involves human interaction with a user interface to generate visual feedback on a video device. The word video in video game traditionally referred to a raster display device, but it now implies any type of display device that can produce two- or three-dimensional images.

So why would people play video games? If you're honestly asking that question because you actually don't know the answer, then I'll asume you got hit in the head so bad that you lost half of your common sense. It is obviously to have fun, why else would you waste your precious time staring at a screen pressing buttons and not getting any notable reward for it?

Seriously, why?

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Maybe This is a Retribution From All the Thievery I did in Skyrim

My phone got stolen last week. And I had to be honest, it ruined my mood so much that I just couldn't think of anything funny for a few days. Probably because this is the first time some damn thief was able to steal something from me when I'm going out, or at least the first time I got targetted.

What really got me angry is that the incident happened so fast that I didn't have time to react. I was on the bus at that time, and got both my hands in each of my pockets. The bus hit the brakes to stop, and the momentum caught me off guard a bit, so I get my left hand out to grab the railing above because there were no soft, squishy boobs to hold on to. But when I put hand back into my pocket, my phone was no longer there.

I do suspect someone though, one elderly man who was so reluctant to have his pockets searched. Although my phone was not there after my search, I'm sure that he moved it somewhere in his own bag before I realized my phone was gone. Was I being too suspecting? Well, if you've ever ride in a bus here in Jakarta (which is totally not an enjoyable experience), you'll come to agree that at least 80% of the passengers are assholes, which would become evident right away the moment you see how they... "line up".

"What's that? You want to pass through? Well, fuck you and everything you love then, we're staying right here"

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

A Game's 'Fun' in Its Purest Form

2014 Steam Christmas sale is coming, so I hope you gamers have some money left to spare for the outrageous discounts and didn't spent too much on the last sale period. I had to admit, several of the price were so low that I bet a lot of you bought games that you might never play anyway. Might want to remember this the next time you want to tease girls for buying a lot things out of impulse. But I do hope that you at least got your hands on Garry's Mod (Gmod) among other things.

"What is it?" you may ask. Well, Gmod is a physics sandbox game using a modified Source engine from Valve, where you can do literally anything you want. There are no goals or objective that you must do in order to play it 'properly', the game will just put you in a map and gives you tools and other stuffs to play with and have fun with all of it, the rest is completely up to you.

Yes, this is an in-game screenshot

Monday, December 8, 2014

What ys Thys Genisys Thyng?

So the Terminator: Genisys trailer has been released quite a few days ago. I'm sure you guys have seen it already, but let me embed it here in case you haven't because you've been wasting your time doing something else instead, like having a life.

And with that, I'm going to write some point of view about it as a fan of the Terminator franchise. A little bit of warning however: it will be filled with opinions and assumptions. It is obvious, of course, since that's the purpose of a trailer aside from giving you some tease like the recently popular open chested turtle-neck sweater on pixiv. But I just want to make it clear, nevertheless.

Terminator Genisys takes the timeline of The Terminator prologue - which makes it the aftermath of Terminator Salvation, but with less Batman - where the resistance are starting to win the war and Skynet cheats by sending its Terminators to kill Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke), the mother of John Connor (Jason Clarke) - the leader of the resistance - in order to make him never existed in the first place. Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) volunteered to be sent back in time to protect her. John Connor agrees with the plan, because he knows that's exactly how it is supposed to happen, and sends him off with a very heavy hearted blessing. Hey, how would you feel when you're sending some guy back in time to have sex with your mother so that you could be born?

Friday, December 5, 2014

Thinking Upside-Down With the Inverted Y-Axis

Let's do a quick count; Who among us here who plays, or at least used to play, First-Person Shooter games with their mouse Y-axis inverted? Raise your hand if you're one of them, I'll wait.
Done? Great. I hope I'm not the only one raising their hand looking like a retard.

Yeah, I used to play FPS game with the inverted mouse option ticked on, and I totally was not able to play it otherwise. Believe me, I tried a lot back then, but the only thing I get was increased miss rate and death counts. It really caused some problem when I'm playing with my friends and switching players each time one of us dies, even more than when someone's eating some cheese potato chips.

Little did they know that I always masturbated beforehand