Monday, December 8, 2014

What ys Thys Genisys Thyng?

So the Terminator: Genisys trailer has been released quite a few days ago. I'm sure you guys have seen it already, but let me embed it here in case you haven't because you've been wasting your time doing something else instead, like having a life.

And with that, I'm going to write some point of view about it as a fan of the Terminator franchise. A little bit of warning however: it will be filled with opinions and assumptions. It is obvious, of course, since that's the purpose of a trailer aside from giving you some tease like the recently popular open chested turtle-neck sweater on pixiv. But I just want to make it clear, nevertheless.

Terminator Genisys takes the timeline of The Terminator prologue - which makes it the aftermath of Terminator Salvation, but with less Batman - where the resistance are starting to win the war and Skynet cheats by sending its Terminators to kill Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke), the mother of John Connor (Jason Clarke) - the leader of the resistance - in order to make him never existed in the first place. Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) volunteered to be sent back in time to protect her. John Connor agrees with the plan, because he knows that's exactly how it is supposed to happen, and sends him off with a very heavy hearted blessing. Hey, how would you feel when you're sending some guy back in time to have sex with your mother so that you could be born?

There is one problem however, it has been established that in order to use the time machine, all travelers must be covered in organic material, so no clothing and/or weaponry is allowed to go there. Now let's take a look at the trailer again.

Dat ass

That's the scene where the first Terminator hitmachine, T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger), is about to be sent back in time. Notice how the lack of fabric around its body, exposing all the organic muscles and its firm butt. And then here's the scene where the resistance are sending Kyle Reese.

"Uh, guys... Could you look the other way?"

If we're taking the same logic as the Terminator did, then Kyle also enters the time machine buck naked, and have his entire comrades stare at his flailing junk as he is lifted off the ground. Talk about humiliation.

There is the theory that any clothes or weapons the traveler is carrying will be destroyed, so if he's wearing/carrying anything it would be simply destroyed in the process. But if that's true, then why would he need to strip everything save the underpants before that? He could just go in there and be done with it right away. It's not like he's coming back to retrieve his clothes later on.

And then the trailer also shows us Kyle being chased around in a clothing store by the T-1000, the Terminator that is supposed to appear on the second movie. Sarah shows up in a paramedic truck, presumably stolen from the Game of Thrones set, and saves Kyle instead after knocking the machine away and uttering the franchise's first iconic catchphrase.

"Thank God you're not naked anymore.  Get in!" - Sarah Connor

I'm not sure what happened here, it's either Skynet mixed up the schedule for the Terminator deployment with the laundy pick-up, or the series has experienced too many time-altering events that it somehow changed the past as well. It turns out Sarah already knew about the future war, Skynet, and the Terminators. Most likely she also knew that the guy she just saved is going to bone her anytime soon. As for the supposedly first Terminator, well...

"I don't have the one-liner to kill you with yet"

Somehow there was already another T-800 hanging around, waiting for it to arrive to dispose of it (fucking spawn campers). And judging by the trailer, this one has been around for quite a long time, protecting Sarah Connor since way back before all of this Terminator thing. We were shown the T-800 carrying a rocket launcher and (presumably) a young Sarah Connor at a lakeside forest, reminiscing his role in the Commando. Not sure what it's protecting her from, but the forest was a mess.

Probably from Jason Voorhees

And then after several scenes that includes the law of weight differential from the Fast Five and the movie franchise's second iconic catchphrase from the Terminator, the trailer ends. Which brings me to some questions.

First, why the reprogrammed Terminator has already been there? Did the resistance watched the movie franchise and thought about the one thing that supposedly 'super intelligent' Skynet couldn't come up with, which is to send their Terminator way back ahead in time? This might be the most logical reason, because it's a lot better to have a backup for Kyle when he finally arrives to his time period, although it changed his role from "badass soldier protecting Sarah Connor to the very end" to "some grunt struggling to stay alive long enough to pork". Besides, the guy looks incompetent enough in combats outside of the bed.


But then there's the timeline problem. Kyle should have arrived at the period of time when the first Terminator arrived, however it has been disposed of long before. And the one that exists on his period was the second Terminator, the T-1000. Did the arrival of the reprogrammed T-800 in the earlier past altered the whole timeline?

The trailer said that "The rules have been reset", and Sarah said that they could stop the Judgement day. Are these the effect of the T-800 early arrival as well? Does it mean that now they could prevent Skynet from going ballistic or being created altogether without any notable consequences? Like, you know, if there is no Skynet, then there would be no war, and then there would be no time travel, and then there would be no Kyle Reese in the past, which means no John Connor.

It's hard to digest, I know, take your time

I never did a trailer review, but this one amused me enough to do it anyway. It looks cool, and I'm probably going to watch the movie when it comes out, mainly to see what the answers for the questions actually are. But all this Days of Future Past thing is a really tough method to approach with, hopefully it won't end the franchise with a big disappointment.

"I'll be back, I forgot my haird dye"

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